We need a sincere friend especially, when old and facing some chronic ailments but why not WE become this loving and candid friend?
This is an important question because if we are not a good and sincere friend to ourselves, how can we expect sincere friendship from anyone? Being sincere to ourselves means a lot at a senior age especially when we do not feel like acting in a manner that is vital for us, but we become adamant about doing certain acts in a certain odd manners that may be injurious. This dichotomy becomes all the more harmful because, at elderly ages, no one dares criticize us. What to talk of someone having an authority like mom and dad, censuring us when we refuse to take medicine in time, do not get up to go for a walk, do not eat what is good for us, and start getting annoyed when someone stops us from eating, injurious stuff, this is the reason we must become a sincere and candid friend to us however, there is a need for practicing constraint in over criticizing oneself.
Are we a good friend to ourselves?
Having understood the requirement for being a good and sincere friend to ourselves, who not only criticize but could also admonish when required to ensure a healthy routine in all aspects of our life. Let us analyze what kind of a friend we are when the need arises for admonishing. Can we easily motivate ourselves in difficult times or get so upset in such testing times that we are not a suitable friend for ourselves anymore, often losing our temper, etc., and that means we are not a friend in deed because we prove to be weak in times of need. If we are not doing well, which is often the case, we must motivate ourselves and keep giving a pat to ourselves in difficult times.
Who is a great friend?
Do we remember some great friends in our school, college days, and later in life who were strong, smart, and prudent in testing times and were a great source of strength and motivation but seriously criticized us when we were wrong and even could show resentment when required, like when we showed unnecessary weaknesses and cowardice? If we try to remember such ideal friends, we are reminded of our beloved parents, the epitome of love, cuddly, soft, always caring, and strong as a rock when required. The same cuddly, soft people opposed us vehemently when we wanted to take the wrong path and make some poor decisions, which we may be regretting today, accepting that we should have taken our parent’s advice, perhaps more seriously. This clearly shows that besides being a good friend for ourselves, sometimes we need to perform the role of our mom and dad to ensure a healthy life. Here is a real-life example of how playing the role of parents in the crucial times can be a great help.
Back in 1974, I was attending a demanding training course in Infantry School as a subaltern. The schedule was very tough, and attaining a good grade and a high position for a non-infantry officer was no less than an uphill task:
Excerpts from an early study elaborating how playing the role of parents can accrue great results:
…… I was in my early twenties doing a career course as a subaltern at a station quite far from my home. The schedule was tough, requiring late-night studies with all imaginable hardships in the daytime, mostly going till late in the evening. The harsh routine included long-distance marches carrying combat equipment, sometimes even machine guns, challenging assault courses, and crawling long tunnels under live firing, a few to mention. It was perhaps the toughest training time after the military academy. My friends were surprised to see brand new books such as Biography of Bertrand Russell on my study table amidst the bundles of military manuals, maps, and heaps of notes. They were fully confused to read some wishes written at the bottom, like; For my dear son, we know you are so busy, but remember you must not miss the mark with best wishes. From your father!!
Only those who happened to be with me on our weekend spree could not hide their smiles. The trick was that I bought these books as gifts for me, on behalf of my father and sometimes my mother. No one perhaps can imagine how these out-of-the-box ways helped me excel in that course. Why I have given a complete account of this incident is to highlight the point that we must always find ways to release all kinds of tensions; being innovative is best for making the task of recovery as easy as possible and never getting to the point of no return, i.e. getting caught by killing boredom…
Thinking ANEW can rebuild us ANEW even after a stroke: (04 Mar 2020)
https://placidworld.wordpress.com/2020/04/22/thinking-anew-can-rebuild-us-anew-even-after-a-stroke/
Huge benefits of befriending ourselves:
Let us discuss another aspect of this strategy of befriending ourselves, i.e., becoming a source of strength for ourselves in difficult times. Remember, a truly sincerely loving buddy is ready to take all kinds of nonsense, taking the blame on our behalf while hiding all our secrets, but sometimes becoming strict, perhaps more than the papa & mama, for our betterment.
In the initial days after the brain stroke, I mostly had to be one such friend to myself, a source of strength, ready to take extra care and even tolerate the tantrums. However, over time, I had to start playing the other role of a strict mama and papa. It was vital to keep me on track when I slacked down in my exercise schedule, gave in to lethargy, and wanted to take extra rest, avoiding the routine walks, etc., making some lame excuses such as too much heat outside, however with my cunning innovations, but I could not evade myself. I must admit that my beloved wife mostly played the role of strict papa and loving mama.
Here is another real-life example of how, in the past, I have been making the best out of unique strategies to manage some tough times in my life. I am sure reading the following interesting incidents would greatly help my friends understand the value of such novel strategies to restore depleting energies and failing morale when faced with tough times. Here is an account of such unique incidents in my life when I made the best use of some out-of-the-box technique to uplift my sapping morale during a testing time, also mentioned in a study;
“Thinking ANEW can rebuild us ANEW even after a stroke”.
Novel kind of Sociodramatic Play while in Military Academy as a cadet;
…I was having problems with completing a one-mile running test in a certain specific time (Anaerobic Threshold). It was becoming dangerous with no one to share. I mentioned it to my mother in a letter, and her reply was so motivating that I remembered her spirited words while running my test the next day, to the great surprise of my instructors and everybody, I finished in time, getting full marks. This elaborates how smartly one could use such ways to cross thresholds in a difficult time…
https://placidworld.wordpress.com/2020/04/22/thinking-anew-can-rebuild-us-anew-even-after-a-stroke/
Do not be a sycophant friend:
Let us be sure this friend is not always trying to keep us happy with unnecessary praises and pampering before we end up as a spoiled brat. In the initial period of recovery, I needed a friend who always wished that I did not get hurt later, I needed a prudent friend who could turn down a lot of unnecessary demands from me and could sternly censure me like parents, ready to rebuke me when I started crossing the limits.
Background of these novel practices & invention of a novel Juvenile Therapy:
It all started as pretend plays in my childhood. I still remember some funny titles that I gave to myself & my imaginary friends. This childhood routine helped me so many times in my endeavors to forestall the strong storms of pain and agony. One such strategy came to my rescue in many ways, in the most crucial times, that gradually became an ideology I call the JUVENILE THERAPY. This unique therapy truly helped me control the dangerous mood swings that can take us to the borders of depression.
With time, with the help of my consistent research, I am finding the scientific grounds for these novel strategies I have been developing, sometimes at the spur of the moment, to ensure the calm handling of many grim episodes. The following studies elaborate on how we can develop ways to control anger, mood swings, etc., making our lives comfortable even in the toughest of times.
MIRACLES OF JUVENILE THERAPY (28 Oct 2019)
https://placidworld.wordpress.com/2020/04/28/miracles-of-juvenile-therapy/
JUVENILE THERAPY SECRET (05 Nov 2019)
https://placidworld.wordpress.com/2020/04/13/juvenile-therapy-secret/
Understanding the true spirit of JUVENILE THERAPY (15 Nov 2019)
https://placidworld.wordpress.com/2020/05/12/understanding-the-true-spirit-of-juvenile-therapy/
Sociodramatic play;
…is where children act out imaginary situations and stories, become different characters, and pretend they are in different locations and times…https://www.education.vic.gov.au/childhood/professionals/learning/ecliteracy/interactingwithothers/Pages/sociodramaticplay.aspx#link62
Why can we not make the best out of all available techniques that help us achieve solace and serenity while going through testing time?
With best wishes to my beloved friends ❤ who stood with me in testing time like a rock, a prudent critic as well, when required, besides being cuddly soft all the time, and have always been my great friends. I can not find words to thank you all.
——————-Writing on the picture——————-
friends
can
make you rock
so!
be your bestfriend
Recovery from all agonies even paralysis 